I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
