Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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