plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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