she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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