so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
