Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
there is puke in my bra ... again
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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