physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
