We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
