i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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