how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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