Moan for me like Helen Keller
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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