what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
