He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
