question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
