well you can't waste a boner
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How naked do you want me to be?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
