Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
