Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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