Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
