Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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