Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
