have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize