I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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