i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
