I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just gift wrapped bread.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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