I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
