you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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