i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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