Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
