C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want her autograph on my taint
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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