they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
