shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize