I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize