Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Vodka?
Forever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
