i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
