Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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