real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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