Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
