12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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