SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
jump out the window naked night went bad
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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