I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
