What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
