U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize