I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
