I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
