God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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