in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize