I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
