He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
