Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
