So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
third nipple confirmed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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