I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Couch. On fire.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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