I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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