I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
