I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
