Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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