the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
