if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
