ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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